How the West is Weird

We have internet access at home now! Yay!!

There's a lot that's been going on in the last few weeks. We found a house to rent and moved in (and are still unpacking...it's kinda like Christmas, but at the same time like a chore...). Finally got internet access (again, yay!!!!). Met our neighbors across the way (who are totally awesome, by the way!). Helped said neighbor with two pig slaughterings and the beheading & plucking of nine ducks. (Yes, I took a pale-looking Brent home about an hour later.) Thanksgiving dinner of the freshest and yummiest duck, with a little bit of Lebanese cooking thrown in (complements of yours truly). Made said neighbors drive with us over 60 miles to introduce them to Chick-fil-A. Helped give out food to the hungry for the past two Wednesday nights. Discovered with two novice fire-makers, two fireplaces, and carpet at each, at least two fire extinguishers are a necessity.

But this isn't what this post is about. This post, my friends, is about how the West is weird. Yes, I know I haven't been here that long. Yes, I realize things will be different. No, I didn't know which things. So I'm here to give you a small glimpse into what I've discovered so far.

1. When people out of state talk to you, they somehow don't hear the "New" part of New Mexico. For example, a week ago I was calling around to different internet providers to find out who in the world provides service in the middle of nowhere and how much that extremely slow connection would cost us. Here's how the first part of the conversation went down on one instance:

Me: Hi, I'm calling to see if your company provides internet to the house I'm renting.
Lady: Sure! Where do you live?
Me: I'm in the state of New Mexico.
Lady: I'm sorry, but we're only able to offer that service to people who are residents of the US.
Me: Ummm...I am a residence of the US. I'm in the state of New Mexico.
*Awkward silence*
Lady: Miss, like I said, I'm sorry, but we're only able to provide service to those within the 50 US states.
Me: (Sighs.)

I also had this experience:
Me: Hi, I'm calling to see if your company provides internet to the house I'm renting.
Lady: Sure! Where do you live?
Me: I'm in the state of New Mexico.
Lady: Wow! You sure don't have much of an accent at all! Would you prefer to speak to one of our Spanish-speaking representatives?
Me: Ummm...no thanks. English is fine.
Lady: I bet you're trying to improve your English. But I must say, there really doesn't seem to be a need, you speak English so well!
Me: Ummm...thank you.

I mean, how crazy is that?? I can't make this stuff up, people.

2. The West keeps trying to trick me. I was looking through coupons when I saw one for Hellmann's Mayo. No biggie. But when I get to the grocery store, there was no Hellmann's to be found. Upon further looking at my coupon...It's the same company. Crazy!

And here's another. Brent and I wanted to get some ice cream. While looking in the freezer section, we noticed a tub of ice cream that looked familiar.Then we read the fine print on the back of the container: "Dreyer's is also known as Edy's east of the Rockies". HUH? Why in the world would you have different names for different parts of the US?

3. We're learning two additional languages as a result of living here. Indian and Spani - I mean, Mexican. It's kinda hard not to when your everyday words include "Pojoaque", "Cuyamungue", "Tesuque", "Chupadero", "Nambe", and "The high today is 28 and the low tonight is 12. Don't forget your jacket."

What can I say? Looks like the West is gonna be tricky like that.