Split Personalities

Whether I'm out for a joyride or commuting to work on my motorcycle, I'm very aware of my surroundings. I'm constantly looking out for dangers (like other cars, or the many potholes and manhole "covers" around here), calculating the many possibilities of distance, brake distance, and time parameters, keeping tabs on all the cars in front, beside, and behind me, patiently waiting on other drivers, and trying to be a step ahead of other people's decisions. Now, when I drive a car, the music's usually pretty loud, I have a minimum of 4 things in the passenger seat, I'm looking for my water bottle/Chapstick/new CD/radio station/audio player/etc, and I'm usually going at least 10 miles over the speed limit (Phil & Todd, please ignore that last statement). It's almost like I'm a completely different person. Although in both cases, any colission, or near-colission for that matter, could be one of the worst things that could happen.

I can see the parallelism in my spiritual life. There are times when I'm fervently digging into the Word, scoping out my surroundings, looking for dangers and traps from Satan, aware of the little distractions that try to pull me away from my Father, and patiently waiting on the Lord. Other times, there seems to be not enough hours in a day. I'll read my Bible, but not meditate on them to let the words hide in my heart. I'll begin to pray, only to wake up 20 minutes later in a very uncomfortable position (talk about some serious neck cramps). However, unlike the transportation analogy, I actually look forward to hardships. Not in a masochist way, but in the fact that if I'm walking with the Lord, I find myself not worrying about the outcome or problem. My Lord is far, far larger than anything on this earth. And when this little lamb has strayed? Yes, it's harder during those times. But during those times I learn (yet again...really, how many times will this take??) that I can't handle it on my own. It's time to get on my knees, repent, and hold on to the only true Hope.