It's so dry here that...

"It's so dry here that..." has replaced "Your momma's so fat..." Except, all the below are completely true.

-It's so dry here that a glass with ice that's been in the fridge for hours at 40 degrees gets taken out of the fridge into 73 degrees, doesn't sweat. On the bright side, there's never a need for coasters. (See mom, no rings!)

-It's so dry here that even ice cream doesn't sweat when it's been out of the freezer for 30+ minutes (but it does melt).

-It's so dry here that when I find Brent's breakfast cereal bowl two hours later, there's no leftover milk in the bottom of the bowl.

-It's so dry here that I have yet to see a damp (much less watery) stream bed.

-It's so dry here that I walked across a lake bottom without realizing it. (But I did wonder why it was so bumpy.)

-It's so dry here that my fingernail polish dries in a third of the time. (That's 3 coats for the time of 1!)

-It's so dry here that my thick hair dries in less than half the time.

-It's so dry here that the air drinks more water than the Christmas tree.

-It's so dry here that when ice from the ice dispenser misses my cup and lands on the floor, I leave it. By the time I get finished eating dinner, it's melted and gone.

-It's so dry here that my skin and lips are starting to resemble the Grand Canyon.

-It's so dry here that my friend's puppy starting freaking out when it flurried snow since he'd never seen it snow or rain before.

-It's so dry here that there's no sweat puddles on my shirt after running 8 miles.

-It's so dry here that you can leave small pieces of fruit out on the counter and in the morning have dried fruit.

-It's so dry here that I got excited last night to see mist in the air, but it turns out it was dry dust blowing in the wind.

-It's so dry here that the bathroom mirror never fogs up.

-It's so dry here that there's so much static electricity in this room I pick up everything but boys and money. (Name that movie!)