Homesick

Not sure why, but I'm feeling very homesick today. Sometimes it hits me like a cannon and other times it hits me like a soft snowball. Today's the cannon. So, prepare yourself - here's a post that's gonna be all feel-y (and a little depressing).

I miss having family close by - talking every day, seeing each other multiple times a week. It almost makes me sick to tears to know I've never been to one of my nephew's soccer games, school plays, or birthday parties. I haven't been called at the last minute to meet my sister at the local mall to give my feedback about a possible purchase, for a last-minute dinner out, or to pick up my nephews so my sister can have some sanity time. I haven't been able to spend the day with my step-nephew doing whatever it is that that one 11 year old boy wants to do. I haven't been around to show him that he can trust me to talk about anything, that I want to be there for him. I haven't had an unannounced visit from one of my favorite people in the world, or helped her tend to her yard or garden while getting some sun on our cheeks, or paint our toes in the sun, or watch a bad made-for-tv movie while eating one of her delicious kitchen concoctions. I haven't had anyone in my family over for a home-cooked meal or cook out. (Oh, how I miss cooking for a bunch of people!) I haven't been fishing, tied a fly, or went for a walk with my uncle while he points out plants and trees beside us or talks about his past in a coon's age. I haven't seen my nephews grow or learn new things, nor have I seen my step-nephew start to mature. I miss the constant noise, the constant movement, the constant chatter of a large family get-together. I miss my dad's big smile (he sure can light up a room!) and him winking at me when we share a secret. I miss my aunt and uncle's lazy front porch swing, picking blackberries in their back yard, and spending some down time with them. I miss going to WalMart and seeing at least 3 people I used to go to school with. I miss my mom's red hair, pale skin, and green eyes. Her robust attitute for life. I'm even so homesick right now, I miss my mom telling me to keep my back straight and not to slump! :)

I pray the Lord will send us back home, but He knows what is best for us, so I trust in Him. I am so thankful for my Bible study small group and my wonderful co-workers, who have helped to fill the void. I pray I have returned the favor to them, too.